Agnes Mallory by Andrew Klavan

Author:Andrew Klavan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: MysteriousPress.com/Open Road

Five months later, I was in my office at the Tax Commission when my old pal Buckaroo Umberman waddled in.

‘Hey!’ I said, looking up from my files. ‘The Buckster!’

He made a comical gesture: stopped short just within the doorway with both of his arms upraised. Indicating my office, or, that is, the ailing president’s: the vast oaken presidential desk, the homey sofa, the broad band of glass behind me which showed both the famous skyline to the north and the western view across the river into Jersey. His effect was pseudo-biblical: Moses looking over Jordan; ‘There is the land.’ Except Buckaroo was so fat and had features like a wax eagle that had melted, and was huffing after his walk from the elevator, his skin filmy with excretions.

‘Life,’ he said gruffly, ‘has meaning!’ I grinned. He let his hands collapse to his belly with a slap and held them there as if to contain himself. Wheezing and snuffling with the effort, he crossed the tan carpet to the western window, presenting me with his visionary profile as he gazed out dramatically. ‘You have no money, no success, no recognition – what? Life is fraught, am I right? Death looms large, philosophical questions make us ponder. Morality – it’s impossible, this one against that one, who can figure it out? Suddenly: poof! A man is somebody. He has some money, some respect. Suddenly – he understands all.’ He glanced over at me where I swiveled and chuckled in my high leather throne. He nodded with mock solemnity. ‘There is wisdom throughout the land, correct? Life works? God exists – or not, who cares? My point is: the facts can be dealt with. We take our old friends out to dinner. We explain to them in their confusion. “It’s just a matter of taking life by the cohones,” we say. “It’s just a matter of hard work and decision-making and inner strength.” You, Harry Bernard, are a happy man.’

‘Ecstatic, Buck. I got thirty-two letters demanding a review of phase-in mechanisms and no council to pass them to. I’m thrilled.’

He hoisted his shoulders. ‘Give ’em to clerical. The important thing is: you talk to the Mayor, he puts his hand on your shoulder, you meet with commissioners, men kiss your ass, girls want to suck your dick. Creation wasn’t such a bad idea after all.’

‘Let’s not get carried away. It’s a small Commission. Practically a backwater.’

‘Oh, this, that. You’re thirty years old.’ He reached down and patted my cheek with a damp palm. ‘It’s a big suck of the tit.’

He elephant-walked over to the sofa and I watched his vast stern, smiling, shaking my head. He was still taunting me, you see, for my past heroics and my earnestness even now. But he was communicating too, and I understood the truth of what he said. Even Marianne – lifter-of-the-veils-of-Maya by avocation – had recently snuggled naked against me in our bed, her pupils dilated, her nipples hard, her loins in action, and whispered with appealing hoarseness and unnerving honesty: ‘It turns me on, you know, that you have power.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.